It was just yesterday, and I was in the kitchen, opening the door to the pantry to throw something in the garbage can, and I had the thought, “I love my life.” That simple, but that specific.
I don’t know what it is. But I like it.
Zack has started trying to say words. FINALLY. Almost 18 months. And he hit the 20 lb mark, too. FINALLY. At 18 months. Today he said, “puppy”. Or rather, “phuhee”. And you would have thought I won the lotto with the way I was jumping up and down. I could have cried.
Zack has been having some health problems. Minor or major, we don’t know yet. Blood tests including Ciliac disease have come back normal, but his test for Cystic Fibrosis is coming up next week. I’ve always felt that Zack’s life was a gift. But today it might seem even more precious, with the unknowns still looming before us. My days right now are filled with me trying to memorize him how he is right now.
I kiss his cheek as hard as I can just so I can feel it squish against my face. All day long.
I ask him questions. Any question. Because with anything I ask his response is “uh-uh” and a shake of his head. Even if he wants it. And even if he has no idea what I’m asking. I smile every time.
I read the same exact book to him every day. It’s a touch-and-feel book, and at the end there is a piece of chocolate cake, the texture is fleece. And we pretend to eat it. And feed it to each other.
If he brings me his jacket, and his shoes, I put them on him without a question. And I open the door for him so he can lead me outside.
One of the best parts of my day is when I get to watch from a distance. As Zack and Mackay play together. Get in trouble together. And laugh together. I think I could watch that all day every day. Mackay can just look at him a certain way, or move her leg just so, and he won’t be able to contain himself with giggles. Last weekend we were driving in the car and Zack was screaming. There was a giant box from Ikea sitting between them. So Mackay hit the box and yelled at it. And in the middle of his screaming, Zack burst out laughing. Again. And again. And again.
So no matter what happens tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy today. Because today isn’t ever coming back.
+ - 3 comments
grandma sharon - You’ve got it Mom, that’s all we can do is just learn to (like) love each and every day no matter what it brings. There is always something that can bring us joy if we’re alive watching and listening…simple things! Love you…
Aly - This is so true. Never take for granted those precious little ones and the time we have together. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Diane - I love your, tender, Mom’s musings!