So as most of you know (and if you are a fan on Facebook, you DEFINITELY know), that Mackay is in swim lessons.  I don’t know who it’s been worse for, but it’s been a little bit stressful on both of us.  That first day I could have trimmed every fingernail down with my teeth I was so nervous.  And for good reason, too.  She cried, arms outstretched to me, waiting for me to save her.  (I pretended like I couldn’t see or hear her.)  But she’s been doing well, and growing with leaps and bounds from where she began.  After one of our last swim lessons, her teacher told me that she learned to float on her back all. by. herself.  (This is HUGE.)  And then I asked, “Does she know?”  No.  Of course not.  And herein lies the biggest hurdle.  Her actually believing she can do it.  And then an instant flashback:

I was young, and just learning to ride a two wheeler.  I’m not sure if it is the first or second time I learned (yes, I had to learn two summers in a row because I forgot.)  And of course I was learning on the old blue bike that was my older brother’s and my uncle’s before that.  (All I wanted was pink and streamers and maybe a basket.  Too much to ask?)  Anyway, so I would get on the bike, and my dad would stand behind me holding the seat.  I’d get going and he’d start running.  Everything would be going really well, but I had to make sure my dad was holding the seat.  So every 10-15 seconds or so, I would stop pedaling, let go of the handlebars, and reach back for my dad.  Causing me to crash.  Usually for those 10-15 seconds I was doing it all on my own, but I didn’t realize or believe that, and I would still reach back to make sure my dad was there.  Eventually they had to get a video camera.  I remember being in the elementary school parking lot, my grandma leaning up against our car holding the giant video camera that could rest on her shoulder.  They got it all on tape.  When they replayed it for me to see, I realized how ridiculous I looked.  I was doing it!  I was riding my bike all by myself.  But I lacked the confidence to know that I could do it.  And I would always reach back for my dad.  Who had to hurry and run to catch up to me before I completely biffed it on my bike.  I was my own demise.  (Complete opposite of my youngest brother, who actually bent the training wheels up on his own because they were just getting in his way.)

So now here I am.  I can totally ride a bike, thanks to my dad and the video camera who could tell me the truth.  Though I will never like trail riding and I don’t feel a need to go down a steep hill really fast.  And now I’m watching my own daughter, in the same predicament as me.  And I’m realizing she is an exact copy of me.  Physically, she is capable of anything.  But mentally, it’s just. too. scary.

I guess it’s payback.  Didn’t your parents always tell you they wished an exact replica of a child on you when you had kids?  I’m pretty sure mine did.

The trial period of my Photoshop CS5 has expired.  So for the last WEEK I have kept the program open on my computer (that means never shutting my computer down), so that I won’t lose all those really cool functions that I have grown so accustomed to.  $700 really isn’t that much, is it?  Dang.  I still think it is.  But my computer is going to have to shut down eventually, which means I’m going to have to break down and buy it.  Ugh.  When will money stay in my pockets?

I was making dinner the other day.  Mackay decided she wanted to get in the tub (at 2:00 in the afternoon).  So she striped down completely naked.  I just kept cooking.  She ran around as a monkey for a while.  Zack thought it was hilarious.  I wouldn’t mind my children staying fully clothed.  And clean.  And fed, for that matter.

You know that song that you never want to download, because it would take away the excitement of randomly hearing it on the radio?  The song that you all of a sudden start driving the speed limit for, and secretly wish that you’ll hit that red light so you can stay in the car a little longer?  Well, I heard that song the other day.  “Drops of Jupiter” by Train.  Totally random.  But thoughts of high school started flooding back, and not one word of the lyrics was forgotten.

I break out into a sweat when I change my son’s diaper.  At first it was cute that he would squirm about and crawl around diaper-less, trying to get away from me trying to catch him.  But it’ really not fun anymore, because he is good.  The other day was one of these experiences, so I just let him go.  I watched him crawl over to my daughter’s toys, crawl up onto her toy bin, and then pee all over her blocks.

I have saran wrap for “special occasions.”      It is rose colored and is the name brand kind.  It even has the razor that you just slide back and forth to cut it.  There is no wrap getting stuck together with this thing.  The only problem is that I’ve had it for over four years.  I either need more “special occasions” to use my couture saran wrap for, or I need to get a life.  Probably the latter.

I hate when I need to discipline my child, but I can’t not smile.  That makes everything harder, because then they think you’re joking.  And you lose all authority or respect you once had.

My daughter said “vomitrocious” yesterday.

I’m doing some serious work on my business.  Pretty much reworking it from the ground up.  Totally exciting, but oh-so much work.  So I’ve cut down on my photoshoots lately so that I can actually work ON my business, not just IN it.  Too often I had the excuse, “I just work edit to edit!  I don’t have TIME to do anything else!”  So I had to get rid of the excuses and get down to business.  It is so rewarding and so much fun.  Yesterday the UPS man (it seems like we get together way too often) came by and delivered my gift cards.  I was elated.  They were beautiful and so much more than I could have dreamed!  So here’s a sneak peak below: